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Just the Right Phantoms

by The Feature Creeps

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1.
Submarie 02:44
Let's take the high road we know Under the radar wherever we go Let's take the high road we know Be you and me of a decade ago Catch a wave to Nova Scotia Just so long's we keep in motion As the sun retreats we'll watch our shadows grow Submarie, what's not to run to? Submarie, nobody loves you like I do Don't you let them keep me at home Let's take the high road we know Living on credit has taken its toll Let's take the high road we know Turn on a dime or pay what I owe Maybe I'm a ne-er-do-well Getting fat and fooling myself Only you are too polite to tell me so Submarie, what's not to run to? Submarie, nobody loves you Like I do Don't you let them keep me Trying to keep me Don't let them keep me at home
2.
Whatever you have to say, make it loud Preach it until they crack and cave and attend you Better than banging away in a crowd beating a path to stamp, fret, and rave at the menu Left unto their own devices Festering can turn to crisis Don't ever mistake them for a ghost in glasses Just relax You shouldn't have to keep wind at their backs maintaining order by phone or by fax keeping them afloat Better to keep it inside if you're down for the mistakes that you can't save Let them eat you Down to the bone when you lie on the ground We'll do a cute soft-shoe on their grave Souls'll seep through Left unto their own devices Festering can turn to crisis Don't ever mistake them for a ghost in glasses Just relax They're gonna crack when we give 'em the rack pose for the camera then lower the axe Piling their heads into copious stacks keeping us afloat
3.
Wayward Ho! 02:19
Ready to see the world is small? (What do you say?) Ready to see the world is small? (What do you say?) It’s the backseat for the summer. (What do you say?) Better to see what's going on. (What do you say?) Better to see what's going on, (What do you say?) ’Cuz your teenage head is cluttered. (What do you say?) Better turn around it could be your last chance to see the sky. Get your head unburied or America will pass you by. Hey we're having fun you know we'd really like to see you try. Now that you sloughed us off again, (What do you say?) Now that you sloughed us off again, (What do you say?) For yourself and to your mother?
4.
Leave this kind of work assigned to other people Ain't that the least that they can give? Just think how much it takes to budget time and keep it Hey baby, that's no way to live. It's not so long ago You ran the show Open your eyes I'll pull the wool Stature tells me that yours is a hand worth holding Let's get your feelings off the fence You've got half a mind to love your kind but that's unfolding Who then'll come to your defense? You don't want to know They'll tell you when in Rome, The more you've been the less you want to go Let's set the facts in stone The more you learn the less you want to know But you're still half full Open your eyes I'll pull the wool I'll reimburse whatever earth that you're the salt of and individuate the skies Fair is just whatever makes the mirror friendly Don't let it come as a surprise I'll make it so
5.
I’ve got tons of baggage that I can’t defend I have sins that guarantee I’ll get it in the end But if I know one thing I’ve been on the mend Since my memory started going soft My road looks higher from where I stand Ground is soft but it hardens over time And up my sleeve are gimmicks just enough Just enough to cross the finish line It’s too late now to try the harder sell Well, it’s hard to believe but I might as well The air is sticky; thick with static, too Hazy so it’s getting hard to see Took me this long just to realize All the things I’ve done are being done to me My bones are weaker but I’m not through yet There are still some sins I always wanted to commit If I have to settle for the hand I get Then I won’t have to play it very long I’ve been looking on the way downhill For an end that’ll justify the means And now my vantage point is clear, self-assured, And confident like me at seventeen It’s too late now to try the harder sell Well, it’s hard to believe but I might as well
6.
Do the settle down Get domestic on the dance floor Do the settle down Put your feet on the ground permanently or Until each day gets in the way Do the settle down Get in debt on the dance floor Do the settle down Get the things that you found lacking before You grow too old and dinner’s cold Do the settle down Throw your weight on the dance floor Do the settle down There’ll be no one around – to even the score Or cause you doubt or call you out Everything you do to keep you on your toes Always someone you’re disturbing I suppose Navigating through an archipelago of foes you owe Do the settle down Get domestic on the dance floor Do the settle down Put your feet on the ground permanently or Until each day gets in the way You’ll be okay Anyway we’re gonna look the other way
7.
One fat wish isn't all I'm asking, I'm light years beyond I've been hit with a work-sick feeling right where I belong I don't spend karma saved for something else Don't wait for luck, no, please don't fool yourself I'd sell out given half a chance and burn a bridge or two Desperate times never swim upstream against Fifth Avenue Stop spending karma saved for something else Don't wait for nothing, please don't fool yourself I've got a weakness for the shrill It's got its hooks inside me still It's got me me sizing up the shill always approaching me. It feeds on every breed I know It holds me upright through the show: the stage that's coaching me I've hit ground with my head buried in midwestern sand Put this down as a debit while I siphon what I can Stop spending karma saved for something else Don't take the weight off, leave it on the shelf Don't wait for nothing, please don't fool yourself I've got a weakness for the shrill It's got its hooks inside me still It's got me sizing up the shill always approaching me. It feeds on every breed I know It holds me upright through the show: the stage that's coaching me It drags me up and down the hall It's got me screening every call and looking lively to a fault while playing wait and see It likes to kick out of the way The things I'm seeing every day It meets my master plan halfway
8.
In Your Way 01:19
If you’re coming clean Don’t make them believe it And if they don’t, that’s your cue. From the evidence I’ve seen, This much is conceded: They want to be just like you Splitting the difference Sporting a dark-sunglass disguise And all of ‘em are in the way Of ever coming clean If you’re coming clean Don’t give up your secrets Unless the company you keep Is splitting the difference Lost in a dark-sunglass disguise Cuz all of ‘em are in your way
9.
Yep, I brake for a clean escape and beat myself into fighting shape It’s hell not knowing what to flex as I prep and launch into a hex attack And make a self-fulfilling prophecy defining every state I'm in If you swear to be everywhere I’ll set the pace to the dogged chase and take the baton, no looking back another time around the track And I have almost got your back on Bubblegum Row It's a scream, put your tongue in cheek and make a scene. Hangin' man is dealt from the bottom of the deck So pay respect to the hometown ref “Chance is slim,” said to him on a sliding scale or biting nails or any other state I’m in Run run run from the bridal army, run On a scale of one to ten I think I’m gonna throw up on the sun But I’m still learning how to live
10.
Your best-laid plans will crumble Your lofty ideals corrupt Your heroes disappoint you Little babies, they all grow up The whitest whites get dirty The deepest black will fade The stars will all shine down on you With the history that you’ve made And they know you’ll never outrun them They’ll expose you wherever you go And it’s more than just gravity That keeps a good man down Trouble is I’ll probly stay around Your memory’s a street-hardened hustler Who charms as he empties your cup The history you learned was all fiction The numbers you know don’t add up And a lover will whisper sweet nothings To appease all the dreams in your head You’ll ask for a warm heart for Christmas But you’ll get a new sweater instead And you go to bed with a good idea And you wake up with Roy Cohn I hope your best intentions Never fall on fertile ground Trouble is I’ll probly stay around And my darling you know that I love you From my smile to my new pair of shoes And there’ll still be room at the table No matter how much money you lose I’ll always keep it between us, though We both know who blew the game And I did my part by looking for And assigning the blame These words don’t reflect your condition You’re entirely catastrophe-prone When even daytime celebrities say “Don’t let the sun set on you in this town” Trouble is I’ll probly stay around So ring a bell for my benediction As the sun’s tucked away for the night I’ll dream when my head hits the pillow That your faults will all be put right And the calendar’s days are numbered The day comes when you’ll have to choose The path of least resistance Or the path no one could refuse But all of my prayers can’t save you From who or what follows you home It’s not just the feeling that’s sinking We’d better head for higher ground Trouble is I’ll probly stay around
11.
Stumbled on the fine line Between good and alright Workshop dread and off with its head, cuz It was better the first time Lesson learned and outlined Mapping every downside Zip my lip like a mobius strip, cuz It was better the first time It’s a little bit shot and a little uphill And it’s gonna go south until I’ve got to Catch up to the deadline Like a flower to sunshine There's no doubt it'll psych me out, cuz It was better the first time Mastered every bird’s eye Expert-read and tongue-tied Open my mouth, let it all pour out, but It was better the first time It’s a little bit shot and a little uphill And it’s gonna go south until I’ve got to row My track is on the decline Creeping to the coastline It’s too late for an elegant state, cuz It was better the first time Not one loose end is untied Nothing left to streamline Yeah, perhaps it’ll never collapse, but It was better the first time It’s a little bit shot and a little uphill And it’s gonna go south until I’ve got to row
12.
I felt a phantom doggedly Take offense and pull the string right out of me. Her voice a shiver in the trees Telling me that good and bad things come in threes. In a room in a house I would know, I’ve a reasoned superstition; retroactive premonition. On the lip of a lie, even though I’m a fool for even caring; all the Jesus people staring. We’ll get no time anymore. There is no time to determine, No time to believe in everyone. And when I shuffle off my shell, Is it winning or a loss? It’s hard to tell. I miss all the seasons when the shore had gone away. I know, I know. I can’t tell the either from the or; it’s all a grey. I know, I know. I missed all the reasons to ignore all you say. I know, I know. I guess I’ll have to make up my mind Whether I can weather sticking to a plan, and She isn’t gonna be undermined By a spineless kid playing every side he can, yeah. I hope that phantom augurs well And the wind hits through a wall that you know well Out here my tongue is tied And the mood swings to the right. Your dreams are all decided, Come inside, you’re still invited to mine. Inflated to supersize To take on ten or twenty guys; With loyalties divided, Paid in kind, till day and night collide. Are we not men sometimes? Throwing in with better guys? And devising just the proper phantoms in disguise? She’s attaching to my spine, Sending phantom valentines. I’m almost too lovesick to drop the stick and run inside. I’m the poster of surprise; When I’m falling from the sky I’ll be riding with just the right phantoms by my side.

credits

released December 3, 2013

Songs by Tom Vale © 2013 Uniform Songs

Troy Martin: Trombone on 6 & 9, ukulele on 11
Tony Mendoza: Drums on 3, 6, 7, 9, & 12
Matt Test: Banjo on 6 & 11

Recorded and mixed by Vale @ Uniform Sound Studio (Chicago IL and Warren RI)
Drums on 3, 6, 7, 9, & 12 recorded by John V. Forbes @ Frogg Mountain (Chicago IL)
Mastered by Carl Saff @ Saff Mastering (Chicago IL)
Artwork by Vale

Space, equipment, and patience:
Mike Canale & The Annoyance Theater (Chicago IL), John & Stephanie Shaterian, Tommy & Brittany Hillwertz, Troy Martin & Cat Jarboe, Joanna Buese, Tony Mendoza

Endless thanks to:
Tony Mendoza & Lauren Dowden, Greg & Esther Norman, The Nurse Novels, ElvisBride, Let’s Get Out of This Terrible Sandwich Shop, Civil Servant, family, Kate & Scout

© 2013 Uniform Sound Recordings (USR001)
All rights reserved

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The Feature Creeps Providence, Rhode Island

Rhode Island-based The Feature Creeps is homemade rock by Tom Vale of Chicago's The Nurse Novels, ElvisBride, and Let's Get Out of This Terrible Sandwich Shop.

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